Bittersweet

December 13, 2009

I managed to keep it together while reading “The Going to Bed Book” and my voice cracked a few times while reading “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”, but I didn’t cry until I closed the door behind me after I put him down for his morning nap. He didn’t nurse yesterday or today (Dec. 13). He’s not yet 14 months, yet he’s already [almost?] weaned.

It’s been all him. I still offer him the option to nurse twice a day (morning and evening) and up until the point he is about to latch, he seems interested.. and then, he squirms his way up to sitting and points to another book on the shelf for me to read.

I know one of my jobs as his mom is to make him not need me, but why is it that I still want that closeness with him. Mother Nature can be so cruel.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba) December 13, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Hugs to you. I’m sure that IS tough…

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Mom December 13, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Awww sweetie… :-( I know the feeling… seeing your kids grow up is definitely bittersweet… and I also know the feeling of pride and satisfaction when they turn out to be cool and smart and loving… :-D Love, your mom

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Cyndi December 17, 2009 at 7:36 pm

There is no word in the english language to describe the pain of ending nursing. Why?

For my first child (now 20) I had a virus which left me dehydrated so at 8 weeks I felt totally frustrated that it was over. Many tears and tearful attempts. Agonizing! I felt like a failure.

My second daughter (now 17) nursed until she was 13 months. We were both ready somehow and it felt like a natural ending.

My son (now 14) – I think it lasted 8-9 months – the 3rd child …. he is probably the most well adjusted haha!

I enjoy reliving those special moments … thank you. You are a wonderful mother.

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Dan Boyle December 20, 2009 at 10:59 am

Life is sometimes adjusting to things as they change, and then releasing the emotional energy that one associates with the past. Easy to say, but often hard to do. As I watched you and your sister (as well as many friends & associates) change over the years, I often had ambivelant feelings. And then one day, I got idea that it was all about me and my development (or lack thereof). The cliché “change is the constant in the Universe” is sometimes tough to swallow when it involves a loved one and our attachments. You’ll get through it…you always have! You and Kevin are great parents. Cheers. Your Dad

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