Today marks the beginning of my 6th month of pregnancy. It’s finally starting to sink in that we’re going to be parents in about 3 1/2 months.
Both Kevin and I feel ready, but, every once in a while we bring up little doubts here and there. I know that’s to be expected, but as I’m usually so in control and in charge of every little detail of my life, it’s scary to know that becoming a parent is one of the biggest lessons in “letting go of control” there is.
I’m already learning those lessons, of course. It started in the first 3 months when I had horrible nausea (I hesitate to call it “morning sickness”, as it was more like “morning, noon and night sickness”) and had to just let my body do what it needed to do, day in and day out, no matter what else was going on.
Nowadays, it’s letting go and giving in to my food cravings, and making sure I am gaining a healthy amount of weight. Already, I weigh more now than I ever have in my life and I still need to gain another 15-20 pounds, more or less.
I know it’s an absolute must if I am to continue growing a healthy baby boy and have the stamina to birth and nurse him, but it’s something I still struggle with on a daily basis. I am happy to report, though, that I am totally on schedule with my weight gain. For me, that’s a really, really good thing!
On the baby front, Binary Boy, when active, can make it look like there’s a little kick boxer living in my tummy. He sometimes keeps me awake, but I’ve been getting used to the times when he’s more active and work around it. So far I’ve found that he loves music (especially Peter Gabriel) and responds to both my voice and Kevin’s voice.
On the domestic side of pregnancy, it’s been really hard not being able to “nest”. Living in this tiny apartment has been starting to get to me. So, hearing the great news that we will be able to move into our house by the end of this month has really helped me curb the irritability factor of living in a sea of boxes (the crib and changing table especially!) and not being able to do anything with them. Soon, though… very soon!
Overall, I have been thoroughly enjoying pregnancy. Much more than I thought I would, actually. I’ve read all sorts of accounts of women who hated being pregnant, but I just can’t agree with most of it.
Sure, there are days (and nights!) where I feel heavy, hot, sluggish and, just… well… pregnant, but it’s also a feeling that I’ve grown accustomed to and come to cherish.
Even with all the uncomfortable effects of pregnancy, there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I am not in awe of the miracle that is taking place inside me, and even though I have no idea what he looks like or have any idea of his personality, yet, I am totally head-over-heels in love with our little baby boy.