January 30, 2007
Last weekend was just amazing. I’ve lived in Southern California for almost 13 years now and had never been to Big Bear. It’s a popular winter destination here, because there’s snow! It’s amazing, because you can go surfing and skiing in the same day. Pretty nifty, if you ask me.
Anyway, my friend Cat has friends who have a house up in the mountains there (that they weren’t using) and seeing that we needed a break from the city, her and a friend of hers (now a friend of mine, too) went up to commune with nature for the weekend. We left Friday afternoon and stayed until Sunday afternoon. Saturday we went on a nice, long hike around the lake there and then headed up one of the hikes in the San Bernardino National Forest. We didn’t stay on trail, but just wandered up the mountain, until we hit the peak and then made our way back down again.
Everywhere I looked was beauty and I think I annoyed them by stopping to take so many photos. But, I couldn’t help it! I wanted to capture the breathtaking scenery and take it home with me to share with you. Here is my favorite photo of the batch:
I took MANY more photos, of which I will put up in a Big Bear album when I can find the time.
I know I’ve seemed pretty negative lately and a bit scattered, but I think all I needed was to get grounded again. The trip was exactly what I needed to feel "whole" again. See, I tend to feel a little fragmented and my "center" askew when I spend too much time away from nature (and the wonderful silence it holds). I always know I need to take a walk in nature when my insomnia is at its worst.
During the trip, I had a lot of time to think about my job situation and I’ve decided to leave the clinic and look for another job. Although, this time it won’t involve my vet tech skills. Seems a little strange, I know, but there are many reasons for my decision of which I will explain later. All in all, it’s the right thing to do and I will be happier in the long run. 
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January 25, 2007
So, I’ve officially been working at the clinic for a week (7 days). I work the part-time closing shift (’til 7pm) from Monday through Thursday. Today was not a good day and from what I’m noticing, I don’t think it will get any easier. It’s not that the work is hard. It’s that absolutely zero of my tech skills are being utilized there. It’s hard to explain why. I mean, I know why, it’s just hard to explain why to someone that doesn’t work in the clinic.
It’s a nice clinic and the doctor is really good… he just puts all his trust into this one girl who’s worked for him since he opened (a little over a year ago). She’s the office manager and he’s trained her to tech. She’s never had any other experience teching….yet he calls her to help him 100% of the time. I’ve barely had any chance to use any of my tech skills. So, what the heck have I been doing there for 7 days? Hmmm, let’s see… I mop the floors a lot. I sweep a lot. I clean counters a lot. I clean cages a lot. Basically, most of my time is spent cleaning this huge clinic while the office manager gets to tech (when I’m there, she doesn’t clean at all.. coincidence? I think not).
Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem cleaning. It is a big part of working in an animal clinic and with sick animals. But, if I had wanted to get a job cleaning all the time, I would have stayed at home and had my husband pay me a salary! 
On a more positive note, I love working with two of the other girls there. One is a receptionist and the other is a tech (who’s also been there a while, but seems to do an awful lot of cleaning and not a lot of teching). They are extremely cool and very nice. Also, I have to mention Bixby. He is the clinic cat (he lives there) and I wish I could adopt him and take him home. He will be the one I miss the most. Yeah… I’m seriously thinking about leaving already. The constant cleaning and feeling of worthlessness is not something I can handle for much longer. I know that anywhere else my tech skills will be appreciated and used. It’s just the dynamic of this particular doctor and this one girl. It’s like he doesn’t trust anyone else. Good clinic, though. Honest. Just not the place for me to feel like I’m "part of the team".
At least this is my "Friday" and I’m off tomorrow. I am so looking forward to this weekend. My good friend Cat and I, along with a friend of hers, are heading up for a girls weekend in Big Bear. Cat’s friend has a cabin up there and we get to use it for the weekend. It’ll be just us girls going to relax and enjoy the peace and quiet in the mountains.
I need time to think and reflect and figure out what my next move is going to be. Kevin says to say something to the DVM. I pretty much have. I’ve directly told him that I’d like to assist more and that I’d like some more "hands-on" work. Oh well.. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe it was just enough to boost my confidence to go back to working with animals again. I can describe in detail every single animal that has been there since I’ve been working. It makes it that much harder to leave. That really is the best part – the animals.
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