Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

August 17, 2005

I wonder why we are thrust into certain situations during our lifetimes. Situations, for instance, that make you evaluate your core nature and force you to rethink how you would normally react.

I knew this day would come. I knew that if I kept pursuing a career in Science and/or Medicine, I knew I would be expected to dissect.

In core classes (Gen. Ed.), I got away with requesting other projects instead of doing the actual dissection, but now.. I can’t do that. I am expected, without question, to dissect a cat in my Anatomy class next month.

I am having severe issues with the whole idea. I feel damned if I do and damned if I don’t. If I don’t, I won’t realise my dream of working as a vet tech. If I do, I go against my core beliefs.

In my head, I’m already trying to come up with excuses that make it okay. I tell myself it’s for the greater good and by people like us learning on the ones that weren’t so fortunate, we can help the ones that are fortunate enough to be cared for by a vet and her RVT. I say, “These are RVT classes, not general education classes. These MATTER.”

But, do they matter enough to go against the very core of my being? I have a month to decide that.. I guess time really will tell.

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