Binary Blonde

Today was a very emotional day for me. I worked my normal morning shift at the cat clinic and a very sick kitty came in. His name was Rajiv. He was a regular patient, because of his health problems, and over the weeks I became attached to him.

He was always very sweet and when someone needed to take blood or palpate for a bladder, I was always the tech to hold him. He always cuddled into my arms and loved resting his head on my shoulder or in my armpit.

If you can tell how I’m wording this, you know where this is going.. unfortunately, all of this is past tense. The doctors recommended he be euthanized because of his extreme guarded condition. He was very, very weak and so skinny. He had terminal cancer and was just wasting away.

When it was time to give him the injection, I requested to hold him, but as it happens I was in the middle of doing a viral test for another cat when the doctor had it ready. So, another tech held him and I said my goodbyes. I cuddled him one last time and kissed him on the head. I told him to find Sophie and say hello for me.

He was so weak, he didn’t move at all while she gave him the injection. I sobbed quietly while doing the viral test, watching him from across the room. The other techs just gave me my space. They’ve been there. I knew there would be days like this, but never thought it would hit so hard.