Making Peace with Naptime

February 18, 2010

So, if you follow me on Twitter, you know that I tweet often about Binary Boy’s challenges with taking naps (and the length of them) and I’ve blogged off and on about his (lack of) naps, too. Every baby has his or her own challenge. Napping has always been Binary Boy’s challenge. Mostly, it’s napping, not sleeping, as he sleeps through the night pretty often (or only wakes once), and has from a relatively young age, too. I believe around 6 months he started sleeping 10-12 hours through the night.

After our “before sleep” routine for every nap and at bedtime (with added bath before bed), I lay next to Binary Boy and sing a song, then quiet.. shhh… until he is past REM and into a deep sleep. I then carefully move him into his crib. Even though it takes up more of my personal time during the day, I relish those moments with him. The quiet, hushed stillness of relaxing into sleep.

Now, if he doesn’t fall asleep, that’s a whole different, frustrating story, but I talk enough about those times. I want to remember the good nap times, which truly are most days.

He used to be a cluster nurser, “snacking” for almost two hours at a time, then napping for an hour, then waking hungry again, so a nap schedule just never took with him. Up until about 4 months, he used to just fall asleep nursing (he still nurses twice a day, but rarely falls asleep during anymore) or in the Ergo baby carrier and I’d place him in his co-sleeper next to our bed or keep him in the Ergo. That was easy.

At 4 months, he grew out of the co-sleeper, so I’d lay next to him in our bed to get him to sleep and just sneak away quietly. I used to love hearing his soft breathing and gazing at the silhouette of his peaceful face while I hummed and watched him slip into sleep.

When he began to crawl around 5 and a half months I moved the whole routine into his room. We bought a twin mattress and put it on the floor and that is what I still use to get him to sleep. Though, it was then that I truly realized that napping was his challenge. He is a very light sleeper and very sensitive to any out-of-the-ordinary noise.

I tried letting him cry-it-out for two days while we had family visiting here. That was enough for both of us to turn completely in knots, even though it was no longer than 45 minutes to an hour. I know that works for many parents, but it did not work for us, and especially did not work with Binary Boy, as a high-need baby. I have not done it since and don’t plan to, ever again.

Instead, I got creative. I use both a white noise machine and a music soother. Those help a lot. I eventually hung black-out curtains. They also helped, but I hated them. Even during the day it was pitch black in his room, so it was hard for me to see him. Eventually, however, my eyes would adjust and spot his sweet face. The dim light of the monitor helped cast very dim shadows, enough so that I could barely see the outlines of his nose, cheeks and lips. Sometimes a very stubborn ray of sunshine would make it’s way through the cracks in the curtains. I secretly loved those sunrays. I took those curtains down a few weeks ago. I hated them that much. He seems to like it better now, too.

The nap routine is still the same to this day, though he is really only taking one nap a day now. He still needs two. I know it’s normal to move to only one nap a day, but he gets really tired without two. I do not try to get him down twice anymore, though. So, I opt for a slightly earlier bedtime. It seems to be working out okay.

In a couple of years, I know he might not want to nap at all, and I will love our extended daytime adventures when that happens. For now, though, I still enjoy watching the silhouette of his chest rising and falling in the time just before he takes a long exhale and drifts off to dreamland.

PS – I was looking for a photo or two to include in this post and then I realized that we have no photos of Binary Boy sleeping, because, well, he is such a light sleeper that taking a photo would wake him up (seriously). We do have a few snapshots of him asleep in the car seat, however they are on Kevin’s iPhone. Next post will hopefully include some current photos.

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TGIF? Not for me.

January 29, 2010

I don’t know why, but I am just lacking patience today big time. Seems like all my Fridays are like this. Whereas most people enjoy Fridays, I do not especially, because by the end of the week, I am running on empty and the weekend is spent trying to tank up for the week ahead.

People tell me.. “Enjoy it while you can, because he won’t be little forever”. I get it, I really do. And I DO enjoy him. I love my son with all of my being. I devote all of my days (and parts of my nights) to him and his happiness and I truly enjoy most of it.

Toddlers are EXHAUSTING though. They are tenacious and full of energy and my boy seems to never need to nap or rest to recoup that energy. Although, by the end of the day, if he hasn’t taken an hour-long nap (or longer, but who are we kidding here?), he is a BEAR. He is downright awful to be around and super duper cranky. But, try as I might, he is not a child to be scheduled, so I have learned to watch signals. Yawning? Rubbing eyes? Whining more often than usual? Time for a nap. So, I attempt to get him down for a nap.

I do the whole naptime ritual at least twice a day. I read at least two books, usually more. He gets two homeopathic Hyland’s Teething Tablets and we “brush” our teeth. The music and white noise are carefully selected and then I lay down next to him on a mattress in his room. Usually, if the nap is going to stick, he falls asleep within 10 minutes and I transfer him to his crib and cover him up with blankets. If not, it’s very obvious and we go about our day.

On most days, one of naps does stick, but I am lucky if it lasts more than 30 minutes. That’s his average. Sometimes, the planets align and he takes an hour and a half nap, but that’s maybe once a week. Maybe. If I’m lucky.

I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. He has ample time to run around and play, both inside and outside (though lately it’s been dreadful weather, so the last few days we’ve skipped outdoor time). We get out of the house usually at least once a day to run errands, and he has a very large playroom inside where nothing is “off limits”. I am a stay-at-home-mom and have nothing else to do other than to take care of him and the house. I did sign him up at a local “The Little Gym” for a once a week class in the mornings. He loved the trial class. I am hoping that it will let him release some of that energy he has.

The two things that really bother me about his lack of naps is, first, that sleep is SO important for children his age (he is 15 months old), so I feel incredibly guilty and worried that he isn’t getting enough daytime sleep, and, second, that I resent the lack of time for me to recharge during the day.

So, what is the deal with my little guy not napping?

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Happy New Year!

December 31, 2009

Having a happy new year with my family at home. I’m folding laundry, Kevin is putting together our kitchen dining set and Binary Boy has been asleep for 2 hours! Wouldn’t have it any other way, either! Smile

Hope you are happy and having fun wherever you are ringing in 2010!

PS – My two resolutions: do more yoga and post more to my blog! What are yours?

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Bittersweet

December 13, 2009

I managed to keep it together while reading “The Going to Bed Book” and my voice cracked a few times while reading “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”, but I didn’t cry until I closed the door behind me after I put him down for his morning nap. He didn’t nurse yesterday or today (Dec. 13). He’s not yet 14 months, yet he’s already [almost?] weaned.

It’s been all him. I still offer him the option to nurse twice a day (morning and evening) and up until the point he is about to latch, he seems interested.. and then, he squirms his way up to sitting and points to another book on the shelf for me to read.

I know one of my jobs as his mom is to make him not need me, but why is it that I still want that closeness with him. Mother Nature can be so cruel.

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